1. |
the first day after
02:46
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The first day after
The last one's disaster
I shaved my head
Wished I was dead
So much for happy endings
The next month killed me
Got fat with dirt weed
I lost direction
Did I ever have one?
So much for motivation
Did you ever get so low that you couldn't go down?
Or get so high that you set yourself back for years?
Did you ever get so low that you couldn't go down?
Or get so high that you burst into tears?
I'm wasting my time
Getting high, drinking wine
I'm losing my mind
Thinking that I am fine
I got in trouble
My ego's humbled
They're staring at me
Pointing and laughing
Have you felt this way?
Depressed and cliché?
And absorbed in
Your guilty whims?
So much for self-esteem
Did you ever get so low that you couldn't get up?
Or get so high that you couldn't get off?
Did you ever get so low that you don't give a fuck?
Or get so high that everything's lost?
Did you ever get so low that you couldn't go down?
Or get so high that you set yourself back for years?
Did you ever get so low that you couldn't go down?
Or get so high that you burst into tears?
I'm wasting more time
Smoke more to get high
I'm wasting my youth
By denying the truth
I'm wasting my time
Getting drunk, getting high
I'm losing my mind
Thinking that I am fine
The first day after
The last one's disaster
I shaved my head
To begin again
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2. |
everything's fine
04:40
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Everything’s fine
I’m okay with this life
Not okay with
This life
Things were fine
Things were okay once, right?
I didn’t notice
You’re over it
Years went by
You weren’t okay with our life
Let go and left me
Empty
Everything’s fine
Pain fades with enough time
Pain fades without love
Without love
Things are just fine
Set fire to my life
It’s better without you
I’m better without you
Everything’s fine
Don’t call and please don’t write
You mean nothing to me
We’re both free
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3. |
i will break you
03:56
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“Save me”
You pray
For release
From this pain
“Help”
Your refrain
Agony
Every breath
Oh I see I've got you down on your hands and knees
Doesn't matter when
You'll give in my friend
I will break you
Just when I think that we're past the lies
I take another look and I realize
It's the pain you're in
I will break you
Taken away
To a place
Cold and gray
Joy
Lights up your face
Once you accept
My embrace
Oh I see I've got you down on your hands and knees
Doesn't matter when
You'll give in my friend
I will break you
Just when I think that we're past the lies
I take another look and I realize
It's the pain you're in
I will break you
Just when you think we're through
I will break you
Now we can start anew
Oh I see I've got you down on your hands and knees
Doesn't matter when
You'll give in my friend
I will break you
Just when I think that we're past the lies
I take another look and I realize
It's the pain you're in
I will break you
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4. |
the sophomore slump
03:31
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It isn’t just one thing you said
There’s no specific line
It’s a lot of little things that got
That got bigger with time
And we both said a lot of things we shouldn’t have
At the start and the end
Like “always, absolutely” and
“Don’t ever speak to me again”
Don’t you ever speak to me again
“Some time apart” is what you said
But I’m still sleeping in your bed
And even though we still make love
I can feel the slide into the sophomore slump
So much for a quick getaway
So much for easy goodbyes
I guess we can pretend for the family
What’s another holiday lie?
So I’ll put on the cheerful face again
The smile you know so well
It’s the passive aggressive I give
When inside I’m going through hell
Don’t you know you’ve dragged me into hell?
“Some time apart” that's what you said
But I’m still sleeping in your bed
And even though we still make love
I can feel the slide into the sophomore slump
Some time apart, you got your wish
Even though you knew I couldn’t handle it
And now that I’ve been dumped
I’m living through the sophomore slump
There isn’t one specific time
There’s no stand out fight
I’m just so sick of how you
Always have to be right
And it doesn’t really matter now
Who lost or who won
Cuz this is the last thing I’m gonna say
You and I are finally done
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5. |
culture got to me
03:55
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Culture got to me
And I watch more TV
Culture got to me
And I bought into the dream
Culture got to me
And I ate all day
Culture got to me
And I want to get laid
Culture got to me
And I feel like I'm choking
The ripcord on my ego's life vest is broken
It won't inflate
Gotta find a way to lose more weight
Gotta fit into the United States
We're all obese, we're all obese
Like pork at the trough
Gotta find a way to stay in touch
More is never enough
We're dying thin, we're dying thin
Just trying to fit in
Culture got to me
I bought your get rich quick plan
Culture got to me
Lost before I began
Culture got to me
And I'm plugged in
Wireless everything, they're omnipresent
It's a prison
(I believe the hype)
I clicked on all the likes cuz I want someone to notice
I hope my memes go viral or why else would I post 'em?
Snapping pictures of my food hoping to get Insta-famous
I just want to be noticed but not come off like I'm shameless
I put a special frame around my face to show I care
I won't give time or money but you're in my thoughts and prayers
(I believe the hype)
Get my news on the social from people I don’t know
I believe every word cuz that’s what I’ve been told
I don’t think for myself but don’t stifle my free speech
I just parrot what I’m told but it’s you who are the sheep
I wonder why I’m angry, wonder where the good days went
So I’ll stare at my phone and just confirm my biases
Gotta find a way to lose more weight
Gotta fit into the United States
We're all obese, we're all obese
Like pork at the trough
Gotta find a way to stay in touch
More is never enough
We're dying thin, we're dying thin
Just trying to fit in
Gotta find a way to lose more weight
Gotta fit into the United States
We're all obese, we're all obese
Like pork at the trough
Gotta find a way to stay in touch
More is never enough
We're dying thin, we're dying thin
Just trying to fit in
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6. |
just one more thing
03:59
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Just one more one more
Accepted excuse
Just one more time I
Question the truth
Just one more moment
I swallow the pain
Just one more reason
To do it again
Is there something more?
What am I still here for?
Just one more thing for me to sacrifice
If I want to
Want to stay right by your side
You’re not willing to compromise
oh whoa oh
You love
To take it out on me
But if you get your way
We both can be happy
Oh baby
Life
Ain’t what it used to be
The older that I get
The more I start to see
Oh darlin’
I need something more
What am I still here for?
Just one more thing for me to sacrifice
If I want to
Want to stay right by your side
You’re not willing to compromise
oh whoa oh
Just one more thing for me to realize
If I want to
Break free and escape your lies
Sick of living by gaslight
oh whoa oh
You hurt
Me with your selfish ways
I get what I deserve
At least that’s what you say
Oh baby
Lies
Are just one part of you
But without them how can I
Know when you tell the truth?
Oh darlin’
I don’t believe you anymore
What am I still here for?
Just one more thing for me to sacrifice
If I want to
Want to stay right by your side
You’re not willing to compromise
oh whoa oh
Just one more thing for me to realize
If I want to
Break free and escape your lies
Sick of living by gaslight
oh whoa oh
Just one more thing for me to sacrifice
If I want to
Want to stay right by your side
You’re not willing to compromise
oh whoa oh
Just one more thing for me to realize
If I want to
Break free and escape your lies
Sick of living by gaslight
oh whoa oh
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7. |
good memories past
03:36
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Soft now like the petal of a rose
I drop words from my thoughts into prose
The click of the keyboard is the only noise
And these words that I type fall like death from above
I’ll never see you again
I’m severing all ties
I thought you were my friend
But I’m sick of all the lies
When I try to leave
All the good memories past
Come flooding back
And I stay
Can’t spin myself
Out of your
Your gravity
You’ve caught me in
Still now like a last breath
Each moment brings one closer to death
And I still haven’t told you what I need to say
I just keep hoping it will be okay
I’ll never see you again
I’m severing all ties
I thought you were my friend
But I’m sick of all the lies
When I try to leave
All the good memories past
Come flooding back
And I stay
Can’t spin myself
Out of your
Your gravity
You’ve caught me in
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8. |
safe&uncomfortable
05:27
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Twisting my hands like I’m twisting my hair like I’m twisting my body
Twisting my mind cuz I can’t stop the thoughts that set off my anxiety
Safe in this moment I’m safe in my house am I safe in my head?
Don’t act no don’t speak no don’t fall out of line am I better off dead?
Find comfort in routine find comfort in normal find comfort in you
But comfort is fleeting I can’t stop this feeling no matter what I do
Can’t make a decision can’t stop our division we're falling apart
Too many choices and too many voices I don’t know where to start
I’m safe and uncomfortable with you
Perpetuate the lie that everything’s fine
I’m used to our life of deceit
I want to break away
But I can hardly breathe
Go over my plan I go over escape I’m convinced that I’m ready
But I can’t pull the trigger I can’t find a way it’s just too fucking scary
I lie to myself and I lie to my friends I say everything’s fine
They don’t want to know and I don’t want to tell them I’m dying inside
Can’t live up to your standards live up to my own I’m a failure it’s true
But I don’t want to give you yet another reason to play me the fool
Twisting my hands like I’m twisting my face like I’m twisting my heart
Twisting myself into somebody else just to play the part
I’m safe and uncomfortable with you
Perpetuate the lie that everything’s fine
I’m used to our life of deceit
I want to break away
But I can hardly breathe
Safe and uncomfortable
Our demise
It took me so long
To realize
Just what we had become
Strangers that share a home
Share a lie
And keep the truth
From the daylight
But now I see
See the faults with my ways
The way I justified those hurt filled days
The way I put the guilt on myself
The way that I should not have felt
But now I've caught a glimpse of the truth
You keep up your spin, but it's no use
You've given yourself away
And there's nothing that you can say
That would change the things that you've done
Apologies too late, you’ve become
All the things I hate in myself
And you’re dragging us both through hell
You’re all the things I hate in myself
And now I’m stuck in this personal hell
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9. |
one line
03:38
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Pick a side, raise your fist
Don’t think, just blindly go along with it
Pick your side but leave me out
So tired of listening to you scream and shout
You choose your side
And I chose mine
It all comes down to just one line
Just one line
Between you and me
Divided by our hypocrisy
Pick a side, get your gun
Is this really what we’ve become?
Or is it what we always were?
Humanity has no future
Pick a side, have your fun
I don’t care, just let them come
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10. |
change of heart
03:14
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You had a change of heart
And it tore me apart
But it started something new
And I'm better without you
You had a change of heart
I’m free, I’m finally free
For the first time I believe
That everything’s fine
Everything’s fine
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kingtriumph Olympia, Washington
music comes in my dreams. i hear music in my head when the world is quiet. paint sound in rhythm over time.
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